Not my Superman movie, and it shouldn’t be yours. A geek’s review.on July 30, 2013 at 3:05 pm
I’ve been holding off making a blog post about this to give time to people to watch the new Superman movie and good friends really liked it, so I didn’t want to tick them off too much. But that movie stank. Not just a little, a lot, on fundamental levels. So a warning to my readers, I’m going all out geek with this post, read on if you dare.
Was it entertaining? Sure, great action, destruction, and more. The fight scenes were the first time, in my humble opinion, that displayed just how strong Kryptonian strength is and what they are capable of unleashing in the world, no denting a sign, utterly destroying in when thrown threw it. When super beings of this strength level battle, destruction should ensue as it is that easy for them. The graphics and world building CGI were phenomenal. I loved the presentation of Krypton and the battle for it’s preservation. The suit was great, even though I’m a fan of the bright colours, Superman is supposed to be a beacon of hope that people can see and rise up to, not a slightly more colourful Batman.
Back to Krypton and the first 30 minutes of the movie. Everyone knows Supes came from a destroyed world. Why is it every single reboot feels they have to retell us this? I, for one, don’t want origin stories anymore, especially for the big heroes! We, collectively the geeks who have bought the comics and propped up the industry forever to the point where they can make movies based on these characters, KNOW the dang beginning! Seriously, Superman has been around forever and the best you can do is retell what happened in the first few issues? Move on! Go tell some of the great stories out there, your audience is waiting for them to be told. Oh, and he’s got lots of great powers, how about letting him use them in terms of the story instead of a “I can see you through the glass the thin glass” kinda way.
And the Superman movie villain choice. Zod or Lex. More Lex. Heck, let’s be different, throw more Zod at him. Sure they have 70 years of stories and great villains to choose from, but let’s use Lex again. Or Zod. Wait, let’s be different. No, use Lex again. Boring. Give the big red cheese something other than his evil self to fight (Zod is the evil strong version, Lex is the evil version of intellect).
Now let’s talk about Superman. I liked the physical aspects of the casting of Henry Cavill, he looks the part which is something they’ve missed in previous movies. What he didn’t have was charisma. Seriously, I didn’t feel for him at all. He gets beaten to a pulp and I was ambivalent about it. He didn’t endear himself to the audience, but I blame this on my next point, not Henry. The least they should’ve done was have him rescue a cat in a tree to the tears of a little girl. Make us want to like him.
My big point: that wasn’t Superman.
That’s right, it wasn’t Superman. I’ll say it if no one else will. I’m sorry but Superman gets the job done, and done right, always has and always will somehow. Superman finds a way, that’s why he’s Superman. The whole point of why he had the mid-west upbringing was so he had a solid moral compass. Superman would have figured out a way to lure the battle somewhere uninhabited, not a densely populated city that gets destroyed. He would’ve taken the battle outside of the town limits of Smallville, which gets destroyed. While you don’t actually see people being crushed and killed left, right, and centre, that’s because they are in the buildings that are getting flattened left, right, and centre (gotta keep that rating reasonable). So presumable thousands of people get killed (except the few people from the Daily Planet that we’re supposed to care about but don’t). Ok, let’s presume shit’s real, he’s new to the job, and this is a mini-army of evil Kryptonians so it’s hard to contain them and he does the best he can. Except… except, he snaps the head off of Zod!?! With his bare hands. With a zillion other options at his disposal, like flying away with him in his arms. Ok, without going back through every issue of Superman, can ANYONE tell me of an instance when Superman snaps people’s necks like popping a head off a dandelion???? Which issue is that? Superman never kills. Never. He prevents death and doesn’t deal it out himself. I can remember one instance in which he physically battles a villain to death but dies himself in the battle!
My Superman doesn’t watch his father die over a FRACKKING dog, he would’ve figured out a way to save pa Kent (even as a teenager). AND he would’ve saved the damn dog with no one the wiser. And speaking of Pa Kent, judging by the comics and, you know, common decency, he would’ve said something like “good job saving all those kids from drowning” instead of making Clark feel GUILTY for revealing his identity a bit! Kid did his best, like he’s supposed to. Even Superboy did good every time.
My Superman isn’t vengeful to a drunken, rude, trucker, by destroying his livelihood (maybe freezing his tires to the road?).
My Superman certainly doesn’t twist people’s heads off.
And to finish off the movie, he doesn’t destroy multi-million dollar government satellites cause he wants his privacy.
A better way. That’s why people can call him Superman and not feel ridiculous, he always earns the name (and what’s with Hollywood’s tendency to downplay the hero’s name? like it’s an embarrassment if it’s mentioned onscreen? If we can suspend our disbelieve about the whole superhero thing we can certainly understand that they have superhero-like names that they, and people, use. If you want examples of this, ask the Hulk, he shouldn’t matter people call him the Hulk).
I’m not going into how horrible Lois Lane was presented in this movie. Blech. That’s a whole ‘nother post. Wasn’t Lana Lang the redhead? Isn’t Lois the “tough as nails” reporter? Didn’t she have, you know, a PERSONALITY in the comics or any other Superman movie? Bad casting. Bad character. Bad. Bad. Bad!
This is a presentation of Superman as an average Joe if he suddenly had these powers and had to do something, the easiest something, that could be done to “save” the day. That’s not Superman. The real Superman was the hero that hero’s looked up to, cause he was that good, not just better in powers and strength, good, and that’s what was missing from this movie. The goodness is in Clark Kent’s and Kal-El’s and Superman’s heart. That’s why we love Superman, why he’s the hero’s hero, and why we need a figure like that more than ever. We certainly didn’t need to take someone like that, grit him up, and turn him into “get it done at all costs, damn the collateral damage” anti-hero.
Ok, I’ve said my piece, let the comments fly, I deserve them, but what are your thoughts on this? Comment below.